Carbs For Dummies (Part One)

jason brownlie
Feb 4
4 min read

Updated: 6 days ago

AKA: Stop blaming bread for problems caused by the food industry

Let’s just say it how it is.

Carbs didn’t ruin your progress.

The diet industry did.

But carbs are easier to blame than billion-pound food companies and influencers selling “flat tummy tea”, so here we are.

Welcome to Carbs For Dummies.

No science lecture.

No food pyramid nonsense.

No “macro maths”.

Just straight up truth chat.

Because half the population is scared of a banana like it’s contraband…

…but will happily smash a “low-carb protein cookie” that tastes like drywall and costs £4.50.

Make it make sense.

First Things First…

What the hell is a carb?

A carbohydrate is simply:

Food your body turns into energy.

That’s it.

That’s the tweet.

When you eat carbs → they break down into glucose → your body uses that glucose to:

• move

• think

• train

• recover

• stay alive

Mad concept, I know.

Energy gives you… energy.

Wild.

Your brain actually prefers carbs as fuel.

Your muscles store carbs as glycogen.

So when someone says:

“I don’t eat carbs”

What they’re really saying is:

“I’ve decided to make life harder for absolutely no reason.”

So why are carbs demonised?

Because fear sells.

And carbs are easy to blame.

Let’s look at the timeline:

In the 80s → fat was the devil

In the 2000s → carbs were the devil

Now → seed oils, gluten, air, happiness… all apparently evil

There’s always a villain.

Because:

Simple villains sell simple solutions.

“Carbs make you fat”

→ buy my plan

→ buy my detox

→ buy my low-carb cookbook

→ buy my £97 masterclass

Funny how the solution always costs money, isn’t it?

Meanwhile your nan ate potatoes, toast and fruit her whole life and just… got on with it.

No drama. No macros. No panic attacks over rice.

Here’s the truth nobody shouts about

Carbs don’t make you fat.

Eating too much overall consistently makes you gain weight.

That’s it.

Overeating matters.

Habits matter.

Lifestyle matters.

Carbs are just… there.

They’re not sneaking into your kitchen at night rubbing butter on your belly.

They’re food.

Calm down.

What’s a REAL carb?

This is where common sense comes in.

If it grew… it’s probably fine.

Real carbs look like:

• potatoes

• rice

• oats

• fruit

• veg

• beans

• lentils

• sourdough or proper bread

• pasta your Italian mate’s grandma would approve of

Normal food.

The stuff humans have eaten for thousands of years without a metabolic crisis.

These foods:

✔ fill you up

✔ give steady energy

✔ contain fibre

✔ contain nutrients

✔ don’t wreck your hunger signals

AKA… they act like actual food.

What’s a FAKE carb?

Right.

Gloves off now.

This is where the industry hides.

Fake carbs are what I call:

“Food-like products.”

They started life as corn, wheat or sugar…

Then got dragged through a factory, mixed with 27 ingredients, sprayed with flavour dust and sold in shiny packaging with “HEALTHY!” slapped on the front.

Examples:

• sugary cereals pretending to be fitness food

• cereal bars

• low-fat yoghurts full of syrup

• “protein snacks” that are basically chocolate bars with gym branding

• white bread that never goes mouldy (slightly suspicious…)

• anything that lasts 6 months in a cupboard

These aren’t carbs.

They’re chemistry sets.

And they’re designed to:

• be hyper-palatable

• keep you overeating

• never fill you up

• spike blood sugar

• make you blame yourself

Then guess what?

You think:

“I have no willpower.”

Nah.

You’ve just been engineered.

It’s not weakness.

It’s food science.

The industry doesn’t want you to know this

If people just ate:

meat

veg

fruit

rice

potatoes

eggs

oats

Half the “diet” industry would collapse overnight.

No shakes needed.

No detox teas.

No £200 supplements.

No 12-week shred.

Just normal eating.

Which is boring.

And boring doesn’t sell.

So instead they tell you:

“Carbs are bad.”

Then sell you:

“Low-carb brownies.”

Absolute circus.

My rule (simple enough for a 5-year-old)

If your great-grandma recognises it → eat it.

If it has a barcode and 19 ingredients → maybe chill.

Done.

You don’t need MyFitnessPal.

You need common sense.

OK, i'll stop ranting, but before I go.....

Carbs are not the enemy.

Over-processed food is.

Sedentary life is.

Stress is.

Sleep deprivation is.

Yo-yo dieting is.

But bread?

Rice?

A banana?

Behave yourself.

Stop fighting the wrong battle.

In Part Two i’ll cover:

• when carbs actually help fat loss

• when to eat them

• portion sanity (without weighing like a psychopath)

• carbs around training

• why cutting carbs usually backfires

• how to eat them without guilt

Because you don’t need to fear carbs.

You just need to stop eating like a good little brainwashed minion.

If you’re done with diet culture nonsense and want a normal, sustainable approach to food and training…

That’s literally what I coach inside my BODYFUEL Plan.

No carb fear.

No punishment.

Just real life habits.

Ready for Part Two?

>> https://www.kebofit.com/post/carbs-for-dummies-part-two

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You can read it here if you want.